“Hello!” Using Your Voice?!

Your brain reacts to tone of voice before actual words! And tone of voice it determines how confident we perceive someone is! Infact, the nifty researchers find that we decide how confident someone is within the 1st 200 milliseconds of hearing them speak. 

200 m-i-l-l-i-s-e-c-o-n-d-s! That's fast people! So, hear this then, your tone of voice, it really matters people! 

Let's start with a simple out loud, "Hello!" 

That! Right there! You just signaled your confidence! Now think of a range of different situational contexts … the grocery store, at work, meeting someone new, greeting an old friend, walking out on a stage in front of a live audience, picking up the phone to your partner, a call from your Doctor that you're dreading, your kid's school calling, coming home to your pet…I’ll stop now! You get it!

So, what is it exactly that we be listening for to determine someone’s confidence? Well, it’s all about the relaxation and breath in your vocal cords because that impacts your tone. I have yet to find anyone that hasn’t uttered at some point the following infamous phrase,

“it wasn’t what they said,  but … the way they said it!”

Remember that time you got nervous? I mean properly nervous! You see, don’t we all get nervous, and when we do, we go higher in our vocal tone (and when we’re really-really-really-really nervous we sound like our vocal cords are being fried). It’s actually called vocal fry. The heart rate goes up, you start breathing shallower and if you're about to say “Hello!” it comes out from the top range of your vocal pitch and is reminiscent of a squeak.  

Confidence then, is to be found at the lowest end of our natural tone. Most males have an advantage here as they have a natural low vocal tone and downward inflection. 

Everyone has a natural vocal range. So how then to find your highest? Take a deep breath and say hello at the top of your breath, it's like you’re holding your breath. 

To find your lowest or bottom range, take a couple deep breaths, relax your vocal cords, relax your shoulders, relax your jaw, relax your mouth, and say hello on the out breath. Finding the lowest end of your natural tone is finding the sound of your most confident self and this applies to both dating and work. When speaking with this lower part of your voice, you are open and full of power and volume because you have space in your body. 

Space! Space? Yup, it gives you breath, and it translates to everything, your face becomes more open, your jaw is more relaxed, your shoulders are more relaxed. Politicians actually have training on how to do it!

Fun fact, we humans like to match the voice resonance of the most important person in the room? Read the room people! Positions might carry levels of authority but the real power houses are to be found by what’s matched and observable in any given space. Voice resonance is shaped by how sound vibrates in your chest, throat, mouth, and nasal cavities. A well-resonated voice has that rich, full sound. Actors are trained in it and can literally use their bodies as amplifiers without straining their voices - like ever! Some authority figures are also pretty good here.

I know, I know, you're like "Well Hello it's still me!" True-true-true! But trust me you sound totally different and likely would be treated differently based on the above two tone versions you present with. Studies back this up - they show that people with a lower-pitched voice are most often perceived as more authoritative and trustworthy. 

Last week, we delved into how cues change how people treat you. The same applies to your voice, if you speak with confidence, people are going to treat you likewise. And so, if you desire to be treated with more respect try it out and, try finding and speaking in those lower tones. You might be thinking… but I want to be accepted for who I am. I got you my friend! Life is all about choices, knowing doesn't mean doing or having to do, YOU DECIDE!