Stoicism

Is your calendar a battlefield? Your inboxes (plural) a war zone? You’re spinning plates, putting out fires, trying to move people in the same direction? All while the request for a budget redraft is thrown out to you like a tactical nuke.

I had a day this week were literally almost everything planned did not go to plan and even worse just went plain wrong. That said, I ended the day with a big smile on my face and a feeling of accomplishment. How so?

What if I told you the solution to your sanity when faced with such crunch times isn't some complex new framework or a six-step of plan to crush it in Q4? Nope…my strategy? It is a 2,000 year old philosophy with a modern twist. 

I'm talking about Stoicism! Now, before you picture me in a toga, chanting, let me clarify. Modern Stoicism has nothing to do with being an emotionless or a joyless grump. Think of it less as a philosophy and more as a mental operating system. Here's how this ancient wisdom can transform your manic days into a calm, resilient, and deeply human force.

If you take only one thing from Stoicism, make it this! 

Focus on what you can control, and ruthlessly let go of what you can't. This is the Stoic golden rule, and in my humble view it is indeed pure gold! Words to live by! 

Looking at the many things on your life plate. Identify, what CAN'T you control? (e.g. The fact that it's Monday) and What CAN you control? (e.g. Your response, looking after yourself, and the attitude you bring to your Monday).

It sounds simple, right? But think of the mental energy you waste worrying about things completely outside of your influence. A Stoic self-leader is a master of this mental triage. They don't fret over the weather, they simply make sure their umbrella is in the car. They don't panic when a project or training event planned for the day goes sideways, they pivot and focus on the next best action.

The Stoics had four key virtues and here I’m translating them into boss-level behaviours just for you!

First we have temperance (aka: the ‘do not send that email’ virtue). In self-leadership, this means self-control. It's the ability to pause before reacting (in anger/frustration/upset), to moderate your emotions, and to not let a momentary set back dictate your long-term strategy. This is about tuning in to your motives longer-term.

Then we have courage (aka: the ‘tough talk’ virtue). Back in day this meant facing a lion, but in these times, the lion is about having the guts to give honest, respectful and kind feedback, speaking up, challenging others, and admitting when you're wrong. How much time do people spend thinking, ruminating and worrying about things they are never going to act upon? 

Next up is justice (aka: the ‘please treat people like humans’ virtue). This is about integrity, fairness, and doing the right thing. A Stoic self-leader ensures people are treated equitably, actions are just, and decisions go beyond self benefit. This means suspending existing judgements or assumptions and instead operating with openness.

And finally… wisdom (aka: the ‘big picture’ virtue). This is the strategic glue that holds it all together. It's the ability to see things clearly, to understand what truly matters, and to know how and when to apply the other three virtues. It’s the foresight to navigate the future while staying grounded in the present.

Okay, enough theory. So here’s three ways I try to live and breathe Stoicism.

Brain Dumps!

I start the week and thereafter each new day with a quick list. Divide a page in half. On the left, write "Things I Can Control." On the right, "Things I Can't." Spend most of your time and energy on the left side.

A Pre-Mortem?!

Before a big project, a new undertaking, or event etc. consider those elements that could go wrong. It’s not about being pessimistic, it's about being prepared! By contemplating potential failures, you can plan ‘if’ x happens ‘then’ I will do y. This builds resilience and contingencies in advance. It also means I sleep well!

Pause! It’s so under-rated!

When a colleague says something infuriating or a problem explodes, I don't react immediately. I yake a deep breath. Count to 3 (or 10 depending on how the day is going). Ask yourself, "Is this within my control? What is the most helpful response right now?" This small pause is a powerful act of self-leadership. It gives me the opportunity to rethink! Because remember you can only truly control you and your response.

Stoicism is about becoming intentional, resilient, and grounded. It’s about creating a fortress of calm in your mind so that no matter how chaotic things get, you can stand tall.