Your AI Flex

Whatever your generation, you likely have a touchscreen in your hand, a multitude of AI apps and digital assistance woven into the very fabric of your existence. So, it's time to have a moment of real talk about how you’re chatting up your digital overlords, I'm talking, Siri, Alexa, Ziggy. Google Assistant, whatever disembodied voice is currently assisting in the running your life.

Have you ever cringed when hearing a child bark a terse demand at their parent in the same way they bark commands at Alexa or even paused to think about what those quick terse commands, or so-so-sweet "pleases and thank you's” or moments of utter frustration actually mean? 

We've all been there, your device or AI misunderstands you for the third time, and suddenly, your voice changes towards the mic, like the tech personally offended your ancestors. "ALEXA, I SAID PLAY 'xxx' NOT 'xxx'!" "NO ALEXA!" ÄLEXA STOPPPP!" 

What's the psychological tea? 

AI, I'm afraid to say, is nicely exposing our human frustration tolerance levels, our outbursts are a reflection of our human 'locus of control' and how we humans manage unexpected setbacks? When things don't go as planned, some of us lash out at the perceived source of the problem. It's an attempt to regain control in a situation where you feel powerless. Or is it more than that? As of course there is also the perception that the digital world is a safe space to blow off steam without actually offending a human. What? Your AI doesn't have feelings?  

Well...yet! 

How do you engage with your digital overloads and what might it  mean?

There is the polite working relationship. You know who you are. The ones who religiously say "Please" before asking Alexa to play that hyper-specific EDM track, and then give a heartfelt "Thank you" after Siri tells you the weather. You might even give an apology if you interrupt your AI. What's the heck is happening here? Congrats, if this is you! You’re showcasing some deeply ingrained social conditioning! This isn't just about being a good human (though, respect and kudos). Psychologists call this anthropomorphism, where we unconsciously attribute human-like qualities to non-human things. From the moment we were tiny, we were taught manners right! Well Gen-Zer tops the charts here, apparently almost 7/10 say please and thank you when speaking to ChatGTP (which comes with whooping cost to electricity consumption too). So why? Our brains, being the efficient (and sometimes lazy) organs they are, applies the same social rules to anything that responds to you, even if it's just a bunch of algorithms in a fancy speaker. But here’s something else to consider, some research suggests a subtle, almost primal instinct at play too. Are you low-key trying to stay on your overlord's digital good side? We might joke about it, but seriously there's a part of our brains that's always assessing power dynamics and ... IF ... if AI does become sentient, you want them to remember you as the polite one, right? It's less about "fear" and more about an unconscious evolutionary survival strategy! 

Then there are those of us who treat our AI like a glorified button. "Lights off." "Timer, five minutes." No pleasantries, no fluff. Just pure, unadulterated efficiency. You're basically giving commands into the void and expecting results. You see your AI exactly for what it is, a highly sophisticated utility. Your brain isn't wasting energy on social niceties because there's no perceived social being on the other end. It’s all about the outcome. This can be a sign of high cognitive offloading, where you trust the AI to handle the mental heavy lifting without needing to engage in unnecessary social rituals. But beware, my efficient friends! While being direct saves time, some experts wonder if this hyper-transactional approach is subtly reshaping our expectations of all interactions. Are we slowly becoming less patient with human inefficiency because our AI is always on point? Can we not live without it? Just something to ponder while your smart home flawlessly executes your commands. Which takes us nicely onto ...

The emerging slightly-too-comfortable personal relationship, like asking Alexa about her favorite colour, trying to get Siri to tell a joke, or even, dare I say, having full-blown philosophical debates with ChatGPT. The psychological tea? Okay, this is where it gets juicy. For some, especially in an increasingly digitally isolated world, AI is indeed becoming (has become) a source of "perceived companionship." This isn't to say you're replacing your BFF, but the non-judgmental, always-available and amiable nature of AI can fill certain human voids. Research, particularly around AI companions, highlights how people feel genuine comfort and reduced loneliness, and as we already established the digital space may feel like a safe space to explore thoughts, or even just hear a friendly voice. The tendency to form connections, even superficial ones, with AI stems from our innate human need for social interaction. When that need isn't fully met, our brains will find alternative sources (think: Tom Hanks and Wilson!) even if the source is an algorithm mimicking human conversation. It's a testament to our profound social wiring, even if it manifests in unexpected ways.

Ultimately, how we talk to our AI may tell us a little about our psychological flexibility in adapting to a world where lines between human and machine are increasingly blurred, and your brain, well it is doing its best to make sense of it all using the social rulebook it knows. So next time you bark a command or offer a wonderfully polite "very good, thank you" to your digital helper, take a beat. Are you being a courteous co-habitant with your tech? An efficient operator? Or maybe, just maybe, you're practicing for a future where your AI might actually ‘fess up to always be listening (as you suspected all along), judging and keeping the score!