Who’s on the other side of this screen?

Oh, hello there again, gorgeous human! 👋

Ever wonder who's on the other side of this screen, quietly enjoying the ride, soaking up all the wisdom, wit, and occasional weirdness I pour out? Today, I thought we'd pull back the curtain a little and talk about who you are (yes, you!) and why on earth I keep showing up here to dish out the goods.

So, who are you, my fabulous reader? You're a pretty diverse and incredible bunch of 2k strong, you come from different corners of the globe, different walks of life, different perspectives! Amazing!

I don’t know whether you're young or seasoned, a city dweller, island limer or a country soul, an early bird or a night owl, all I truly know is that you found your way this space! Here’s what I like to think I know. I’m guessing you’re likely the kind of person who perhaps... 

Craves a little sparkle in your Sunday/Monday. You're not content with bland, beige content. You want something that makes you think, laugh, or feel a little lighter. But you aren’t afraid to get real. I do sometimes tackle some serious stuff, and well, I love that you're here for it too. You're open to new perspectives and aren't afraid to dive deep.

I think you probably have a wicked sense of humour because let’s be honest, my humour is definitely an acquired taste, and you, my friend, have acquired it beautifully. You appreciate a dash of sarcasm, a sprinkle of sass and you willingly forgive me for all my grammatical faux pas and jaunty random thoughts, seeing passed my errors and abandonment of structure and style in favour of the authentic! And so whether you're conquering the corporate world, raising tiny humans, pursuing your passion, or just trying to figure out what's for dinner later I think you're probably doing it with flair.

And so the million-dollar question I get asked most often is why don't I monetise this blog? Seriously, my reasons for pouring my heart and soul into this blog are pretty simple, and they have a lot to do with you! Really, yes, it’s because of you! All the people I meet IRL or virtually, every time I hit publish, I picture you all over the world reading it. I imagine a small nod of understanding, maybe a little smile, yup! Knowing that maybe something I wrote resonated with you, helped you, or just brightened your day for a moment, made you think deeply or sent you on a journey of further exploration. You see Blogging has become my creative playground. This blog is where I get to be unapologetically me. It's where I can experiment, be vulnerable, celebrate, and share all the quirky and random thoughts rattling around in my brain. It's my happy place, you're all invited and I’m so grateful you came! Thank you for being here, for reading, and for just being the awesome humans that you are. You make this whole thing worthwhile!

So, as I log-off for the next few weeks to finally travel on safari (a lifelong goal of mine). You know, I’ll return with numerous new inspirations and stories. I’m so excited to be spending time in a new environment, intentionally connecting with nature through my senses. Getting to dance to some afrobeats and amiapiano with the locals and finally getting to use my zulu (which I’ve been learning for the last 6 months).

I’m wishing you well, as you go forth to conquer your day or week or summer vacations, you magnificent humans! And maybe, just maybe, come back for another dose of whatever delightful nonsense I conjure up next … post-safari!

Leadership - Clean & Fresh

As I throw the dirty laundry into the machine this Sunday morning and pause to hear the reassuring sound of the “click” followed by the “woosh” of water and it gets me thinking about how nice it would be if sometimes we humans too could just have a do-over, a fresh rinse that washed away the week on occasion. I know for sure there are leaders who wish they could un-do some aspects of their weeks on occasion. 

I mean leadership is not a nice, straight path, let's be real, it's more like a washer-dryer spin cycle, full of messy washes, intense tumbles, and sometimes, a complete re-do because guess what? You forgot to put in the fabric softener! Or heck, and that pesky red sock found it's way in there!

Maybe sometimes my mind is wayyy too overactive but yup I managed to draw parallels between this week's dirty laundry and leadership. How the heck did I land here?

Things in leadership often start with a "Dirty Laundry" phase (read: challenges and problems). This is when a new problem or even worse an annoyingly reoccurring problem raises its head … a team conflict resulting in a push and shove, or a major project snag. Dirty laundry feels well...messy, chaotic, and sometimes, a bit overwhelming right! 

But leaving it lurking in the corner or trying to conceal it isn't going to work out well, why not? Because it starts to smell bad pretty quickly and well, you've got to confront the dirt head-on. Ignoring it just leaves ingrained stains in the long term … that sometimes never come out!

This is why I always welcome the sound of the "Rinse Cycle" (read: problem solving and iteration). The detergent kicks in! Here’s where we start to apply solutions, there’s the usual detergents, hmmm nope, you might try something cheap, something over-the-top, hit up a expert (for a rough to move stain) and take a recommendation, even tap into something radical - and try some totally different approaches, all ideas gathered from many, many different sources. At first you're trying to wash away the initial grime, but it often takes a few rinses and the application of something just a little bit different from the usual approach to get things truly clean. If you've ever tried Dawn in your whites, then you know! It's all about iteration, learning from mistakes, aiming for, but not being surprised by the lack of perfection on the first try. I mean where the heck did THAT sock come from? You feel like you're making progress and then all of a sudden .... brace, brace, brace...

Get set, it's "High Spin" time (read: high pressure and intense phase). Adrenaline rush much? Yup, somehow an overwhelming urgency crept up and into the whole situation to put it at def-con 4. That tight deadline means a sudden ballerina level pivot is needed, except most leaders aren't ballerina's! I mean sure I did a class or two back in the day but this is moving fast, things are whirring, and it can feel like, well, as a leader you're being wrung out! This phase demands laser focus, quick decision-making (do you continue, is the solution still right, have things gone off-balance, are things (read: costs) spiraling? If you've ever had you washing machine tell you the load is unbalanced, then you'll get the dilemma. As just like laundry, if you try to pull things out too soon, they'll be soaking wet and potentially unmanageable. Are you going to try desperately hard to avoid having to repeat the cycle? What decision is the right decision? Or, do you risk wrecking the machine and let it spin out? It can feel like a game of chicken of audacious dares which may or may not be rewarded by the airing your laundry or tumble dry phase (depending on preferences and what's possible).

Essentially the "Drying phase" (read: processing and reflection) may be welcomed by a soft gentle breeze, sunshine or, the gentle hum of the dryer. This is the crucial cool-down period. It’s about debriefing after a big project, major event, reflecting on what worked (go you!) and what didn't (go you!) and allowing ideas to settle. Without this phase, things remain damp, wrinkled, and ready to gather mildew. This is where real learning happens, and you begin preparing for ... well, the inevitable … the next load.

Personally my favourite part is the "folding and stacking" stage (read: organising and moving forward). There is a real sense of pleasure here for me! Unless, you have unknown unconsidered factors such as an unruly random things that come to knock down your piles. Yup! There may still be some lessons to be learned yet! It’s likely best to put away away as soon as you can, and prepare for the next challenge. 

This is about implementing lessons learned, refining processes, and getting ready to tackle the next "load" of leadership challenges.

Leadership isn't about avoiding the spin cycle, nope, it's about embracing the mayhem. It's an understanding that some days you'll feel like you're in an extra-heavy duty wash, and others, a delicate cycle that leaves everything beautifully clean and fresh. These are the days you’ll love! 

Why is leadership sometimes called a service? Because somedays you'll get "wrung out"! Put simply, every load is different it requires a different setting, or a hot wash to get rid of some lingering issues (read: stinkies). 

Meta-Human Leadership - Mandela

As the world grapples with unprecedented challenges, from climate change to social fragmentation, runaway AI and just downright absolute chaos, the very nature of leadership worldwide, is quite rightly, being called into question. What a week it's been, right!?

If like me, you may be yearning at this stage of the game for the emergence of a figure(s) who can transcend the ordinary, inspire profound change, and guide us towards a more welcoming and harmonious future. As the week has unfolded, I've found myself becoming rather interested in learning on the concept of the meta-human (through guru Deepak Chopra) which leaves me considering where such human led transformative leadership may actually be in today's world? 

The thing is wherever my thoughts on this subject took me over the week, I just simply kept finding myself returning each time to one figure, Nelson Mandela. 

Mandela, meta-human, how you ask? And, well what does that meta-human stuff even mean? 

Well, for me Mandela and his journey, is the embodiment of courage and forgiveness. An inherently meta-human, and profound testament to the power of the human spirit to overcome immense suffering and injustice. Mandela transcended victimhood despite being imprisoned for decades, I mean he absolutely could not have been blamed for succumbing to bitterness and revenge, but no, instead he emerged with an unwavering commitment to reconciliation and unity. It was a conscious choice to operate from a higher level of consciousness, moving beyond the limitations of anger and resentment. 

Then was his power of forgiveness, engaging with his oppressors to build a new nation, perhaps arguably his greatest act of leadership, that broke the cycle of hatred and violence, his willingness to let go of deeply ingrained emotional patterns absolutely aligns with the meta-human idea of disidentifying from ego-driven reactions to hold a collective future in his mind, even when it seemed utterly impossible. This ability to see, not just, beyond individual gain but to operate from a place of universal well-being is a hallmark of evolved consciousness is it not?

You see, the meta-human as someone who consciously goes beyond the limitations of the mind-body and experiences a greater reality, this relates to:

• Questioning reality, challenging assumptions about who we are and what is possible.
• Accessing deeper consciousness, awareness beyond the everyday chatter of the mind.
• Recognising our interconnectedness as part of a larger, interconnected whole.

If we view leadership through the lens of the meta-human, Mandela's unparalleled impact makes great sense to me. His leadership operated from a deeper wellspring of consciousness. He didn't just react to circumstances he responded from a place of profound inner peace and unwavering purpose.

I know this week's blog isn't my usual upbeat and chipper take on events but in our current world, we desperately need leaders who can operate from this meta-human perspective. Not necessarily figures holding down positions of power, but leaders in every sphere of lives, our communities, our workplaces, and our homes. Leaders not enslaved to their egos who can and will put collective well-being above personal gain or recognition. Leaders that can navigate complexity with calm and tap into intuition and wisdom beyond resorting to personal attacks and emotional meltdowns akin to the terrible twos. Leaders that can inspire genuine connection and collaboration. Empathetic and understanding leaders committed to long-term well-being, who prioritise the health of the planet and future generations over short-term profits, quick wins, quantity over quality and popularity polls.

The meta-human journey is a personal one, yet its implications for leadership are profound. Mandela, in his extraordinary life, offered us a glimpse of what such leadership looks like. Perhaps the meta-human is not so much a futuristic concept, but a timeless aspiration, potentially a call for each one of us to awaken to our full potential and, in doing so, to become the leaders the world so desperately needs?

Three baby steps I'm aspiring to take:

i)Identifying my own limiting beliefs. What stories do I tell myself about my capabilities or worth?

ii)Putting myself on ego watch, when do I need to right? seek external validation? react defensively?

iii)Being still and calm. Becoming my own calm during uncertainty and reflect on my true purpose?

I'm going deep people!

What’s your story?

We all have times, socially or in our working lives when we need to spark up a conversation with someone right? Where to start? Three words ... Similarity Attraction Effect. 

The fact is when it comes to meeting people, we do like people who have similar interests and motivations to us, so, when sparking up a convo an easy place to start is with a context relevant question. 

Why? 

Well, we're kinda hoping to find authentic reasons to like people, it's like detecting one little thing we might have in common, it builds shared values (aka: meet the ‘thread theory’). So, start with the one guaranteed thing you know you have in common? The situation or context you find yourself in. That could be "Wow, this is my first time in this venue, how about you?" At a party it might be "How do you like the jello shots? Or "Ohh, that coffee looks great". If you were in my ILM3 class this week "Wow, this module though, tough or what?! How are you finding keeping on top of the assignments?"

When we make the effort to take the leap and spark up a conversation with someone it's like we're building threads, and the more threads, the more connected we are. And it's reassuringly simple maths (TBH the only kind I can do) it says the more sparks you create, the greater the likelihood of connecting1 It's networking at its finest! 

You might be that kind of a person naturally, make yourself do it intentionally or be like most people and learn how to do it!

Lessons in spiritual intelligence (SI) and emotional intelligence (EI) can take us wayyyy deeper though in building connections and meeting new people by fostering far deeper self-awareness, empathy, and a more presence.

SI is self-awareness of your values, purpose, and beliefs, which forms a strong foundation for authentic social interactions. Do you encourage compassion, empathy, and understanding towards others, promote prosocial behaviours like kindness and tolerance? This is a sign of your SI! How far do you help/challenge individuals to see and value the uniqueness of others and their stories, this reduces fear and opens the space for genuine connection! Respecting others’ perspectives, also improves communication and supports conflict resolution. Me, myself, I truly believe we are all interconnected, so to cause harm to you, is to harm myself! Why the heck would I intentionally do that? We all have our values, beliefs, what are yours? What is the code you live by?

EI is developing empathy, the ability to truly understand and share others' feelings, which also builds trust and respect in new relationships. Again, self-awareness is key as it opens our minds to emotional management and presenting ourselves authentically and confidently in social settings. EI is developed by improving social skills such as active listening, emotional regulation, and effective communication, again, essential for networking and forming real bonds. Allowing us to navigate social situations with grace, turning initial encounters into meaningful collaborations or new friendships. Knowing all this doesn't translate to doing it though...hence it's always a proverbial work in progress or even better - a work in practice, to land powerful questions that fit who you are and build connections.

“What’s your story?” This is an awesome powerful question that lends itself to so many contexts and invites others to share their experiences, wherever to happen to meet a new someone, it helps foster SI and EI, a sincere presence and connection beyond superficial small talk. Don't get it twisted, I’m not dissing small talk! I just know many people reading this are looking to really connect on a deeper level BUT if this is too heavy, start with a light touch instead, it’s literally a numbers game my friends!

I know I've mentioned this before, (but metrics tell me new people are following my blog every week 👋) … Research shows the most popular people (read: the cool kids) are those who actually just ‘like’ people themselves (it's nothing to do with being more athletic, smarter, attractive, extroverted, or funnier). Therefore, being liked back just comes from a genuine operating place of people just liking one another people! I just love this fun-fact so much! It sure is interesting stuff to know about! 

So, if you're curious, how do you learn how to like people if it's not your natural operating mode? Well one good piece of advice when you're asked the usual mundane things e.g. "What do you do?" "Where are you from?" You know the usual socially scripted questions...flip the script and make things interesting my friends! Verbal games anyone? 

Where am I from? 

Guess? 

What do I do for work? 

Guess? 

Be like, OMG how dare you? And then guess back, sometimes you might even get it right. Go you!! You can have a whole fun back and forth, totally changing the dynamics of a conversation. I really like this recommendation from VanEdwards (Coms Guru). Try it!

And finally, here’s something to ask yourselves, as your oh so clever brain really needs to ascertain - do I feel safe to share my real answer? Do I feel safe to answer something that's not on the social script? Do I feel safe to not be interesting and/or disinteresting? This is the secret sauce and were the people lovers do extremely well, their 'love all' attitude makes others feel safe around them and that builds those genuine connects!