Rewired

It was once thought that by the time you stopped physically growing so did your brain. Not true. However, do you ever find yourself locked into the same repetitive thoughts? Or facing another version of the same issue? Have you seen or heard of Erikson’s stages of Psychosocial Development?

Erikson's model shows us that as we grow through each stage of life there maybe potential crisis that we meet and potential outcomes and virtues arising from each stage which can shape our self-perception for years to come. 

What is one repeated negative thought that you have about yourself? 

What virtues show up in your life?

Let's take self-doubt. I mean, who hasn’t had moments of self-doubt, those niggling thoughts that whisper, "I’m not good enough"?

The difference is, these moments stretch far beyond mere moments in time, for instance, it is not uncommon for me to encounter in my work, a really high performing individual who is tirelessly striving to prove themselves competent at the absolute highest level, because they harbour huge self-doubt; fear they are not good enough; not competent enough. They punish themselves needlessly striving to be absolutely perfect. Labels are applied such as, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, control freak and micro manager etc. The constant grind of self-doubt impacts all dimensions of their live; their ability to relate to others, how they prioritise (fail to empower and seek control), their relationships, ability to let-go and have fun, as behaviours are based on feelings of self-worth (which lurch up and downlike a yo-yo).

Here’s the good news, our brains aren’t static, they’re dynamic, ever-evolving organs capable of incredible change. This is where neuroplasticity comes in. Just like a muscle, our brains capacity to learn, adapt and grow is immense, and with intention and practice our brains, moreover, you have the power to rewire your brain and overcome negative thought patterns, like self-doubt, mistrust etc. 

1. Becoming aware is the key! 

• reflecting on Erickson’s diagram may help

• asking yourself, what is the negative thought(s) I constantly have? 

• keeping a note of reoccurring thoughts or themes

• engaging with a coach or someone really close for a candid conversation

• if you are in a position of management seeking 360 feedback 

2. With awareness, you may begin to notice your thought patterns, and when and where they show up as well as their impact. Then you may want to consider how to start challenging yourself, even setting goals to e.g. cultivate a more positive mindset for a happier you.

• We are all capable of adjusting our perceptions it just may take a little effort as your neural pathways, are likely deeply ploughed and carved out. Think of them as toll-free, fast-track superhighways that you have used daily perhaps for decades. So creating a new path, think of an untouched field of tall thick grass, with not even a clear path laid out, you will have to intentionally forge a path through it and use it repeatedly or the grass will regrow, this is how good intentions are lost, because your brain will want to jump onto the superhighway, it's the proverbial path of least resistance, even if the super-highway no longer serves the way of life you desire or seek. 
• Try this - brush your teeth or write with your non-dominant hand - it's hard right!? You have to really think about it, it takes a lot of effort, your brain is urging you to do what you've always done, you have to consciously reject that urge to finish brushing or writing, likely your hand/arm aches a little - but with practice and intention you will get good at it!

3. This is why practices like, writing goals down and having vision boards that you refer to often are considered good practices, as they visually support the brain and keep you conscious of what you actually want, otherwise, your brain will just seek the path of least resistance.

The takeaways? 

• Don’t be misled into thinking oh, I'll never be able to change because honestly your brain shouldn't be something you feel hopeless about. 
• You really can change, be it; your thinking, your career, your relationships, your resilience, ability to trust - throughout your life, the ability to get rewired is a beacon of hope to be embraced!